Top Ten Signs You're Not Going To Be Named The World's #1 Intellectual


10. "Words you use more than any other--'Pro' and 'Rasslin'"

9. "Twice last week you went through a carwash without a car"

8. "You once returned a hat because it didn't have instructions"

7. "Fearing Avian Flu, you traded in your Ford Thunderbird"

6. "All your awards are labeled 'Participant'"

5. "When asked the capital of Nebraska, you answer, 'Capital N'"

4. "Working in chemistry lab, you discovered that 'The blue stuff is delicious'"

3. "You've been accused of lying through your tooth (Sorry, that's a sign you might be a redneck)"

2. "Just put $50,000 on the Jets"

1. "You started a war in Iraq without an exit strategy"