1. Blaming your farts on me...not funny.
2. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!!

3. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone.

4. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly who's walk is this anyway?

5. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.

6. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur?

7. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

8. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out everytime we go back.

9. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

10. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us?